A grounded method to refocus, refresh, and realize your very being

Why do we stop ourselves from fully showing up?

How do others seem to effortlessly be themselves while most of us constantly struggle to show up as ourselves?

There are many so-called “hindrances” to the very freedom of being oneself. No matter what roads we end up taking to feel safe, any and all roads that veer off from our unique path will always lead to a dead end. Ultimately, it is dead not alive to be anything that is not who you came here to be. We cannot live fully by being “polite” by stopping our very being from the freedom of expression for ‘fear’ that it may not be liked by those on the outside. Just watch an infant and see how concerned they are with their behaviors, you will quickly come to know that they are not weighed down by others expectations of them, but rather they continually play with the world around them, enjoying themselves so fully that they are completely lost in their world of play. I am not suggesting that you live like that of an infant or that realistically you would still have the same ways of expressing, but somewhere along the way we started to ‘over think it’ to the point that we’ve stripped the house of our inner being of all its unique furniture, color, and character that it now remains barren, empty…nothing to offend but also nothing to really stand out and inspire. Those that are truly comfortable with themselves will never busy themselves with others opinions because when we are truly with ourselves we are more than complete.

what others choose to do or not do with their lives is none of our business.

That brings me to one of the biggest challenges that we all face. The very stick in which we feel ‘hit’ by is the very stick we refuse to let go. Our own judgements are what we ultimately project out into the world and then in turn feel judged by. As if we unconsciously send out a boomerang and then feel like we have to run from this flying object that is coming for us! The only way to begin to break out of this painful cycle, is to first come to an understanding that it was never the so called ‘others’ who are judging us in the first place. Somehow it is always us that are looking out into the sea of eyes imagining what ‘they’ are thinking, only to be thinking the very thing that we imagine, and then use that as a way to shut off ourselves from our very being.

Meditation is a great start to begin to cultivate awareness. Just like, if you are interested in seeing a flower grow in your garden it requires certain conditions to be present. Of course we can all go to the store, by a flower, and be done with it. There are of course many people that end up choosing so called ‘substances’ to get them to those feelings of ease, comfort within themselves, and to shut off the constant stream of judgements. For many people struggling with feeling shut down purchasing the experience is perhaps the only breath of relief they have experienced that allows them the feeling of freedom to just be. That being said, the store bought flower is on the outside and its roots are not deeply grounded in the earth of your inner being. Therefore, not only will it not last but eventually it will get stale, wilt, and die. Leaving you feeling even more in pain because now you have this other experience that feels even further away from where you currently are standing. Perhaps that is also the beginning though of realizing what we do in fact want to experience and then the only question that remains is “are we willing to take the time to tend to our own inner garden, to cultivate our awareness?” If the answer to that question is “yes, but how?” than Meditation or Mindful watching of our mind is the beginning to allow us the ability to notice when the ‘weeds’ of our thoughts, judgments, self-doubts start to poke up through giving us the opportunity to directly tend to them. It is only when we are so lost in the stories of our minds and we are not paying attention to which thoughts we are thinking that the mind’s ‘weeds’ that do not serve us and we end up giving them more mental attention than we consciously even realized. By mentally feeding the judgments, we inherently focus more of our mental attention on what we do not want which only attracts more mental weeds. Through our watchful attention, we can start to manage our own experience of being with ourselves in an open and aware way. Tending to our inner garden and making sure we aren’t being pulled at by the ‘weeds’ of our mind, but rather that we take the seat of the master and navigate our experience based on what we have chosen to pursue. That of love, compassion, and deep reverence for ourselves that leads to an inner experience appreciation, enjoyment, and fulfillment where you experience the moment experience and is not focused on outside experiences that are beyond our scope of control.

The frustration so many of us experience is that we spend most of our day reacting to that which we have no control and allowing it to upset our inner experience when in fact it is our very way of reacting that yields the most important returns on our true way of being. It was never the parking ticket that ruined your day, it was always your experience of the parking ticket and how upset you allowed yourself to be.

When we tend to ourselves with love and compassion and less often to what we are lacking we are less likely to get lost in the stream of absentmindedness and therefore less likely to fall victim to the mind chatter that so often leads us further away from what we truly desire. This way of cultivating our inner garden will eventually produce the most exquisite beautiful flowers that will blossom with so much love, and inner compassion that everyone else will want to just sit around and bask in their glory. This is the true work or rather play that is life…the process of spending time with yourself and allowing everything the flourish from within allowing everything to than happen as a flow. When you are feeling good it’s like the whole world will smile back at you. Than you will no longer have any time to obsess over what other people are saying or doing, for you will be all too engulfed in your own bliss and this bliss will be the very fragrance that others will enjoy and bring with it the remembrance of their own garden that each one of us has to ultimately see to. Like that of a child, we too will inspire joy, laughter, and the promise that life can be enjoyed when we decide to play the part of who we really are, not small nor too big, but just us as we came unlimited, uninhibited, and unapologetic.

Ultimately we suffer when we deny our light, when we deny our wild, untamed selves to grow naturally how it was always meant to grow. Fighting our true essence will always leave us feeling depleted, exhausted, and of course unhappy. It is when we can be aligned with who we naturally are that creates a clear path towards where we want to go, that excites us on this journey of life, allowing it to be how it was always meant to feel, exciting, joyous, and yours to experience.